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Memories 2017

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Memories, gratitude, not just gratitude – but deep gratitude from the depths of my heart rise softly and I recognize in every cell of my being the wellspring of Love that has held me, my family, my prayers, dreams and hopes so tenderly this year.

 Looking back, what seemed impossible and what I couldn’t see or understand – it was my vision of hope that inspired faith.

I counted on the tiniest seed of faith having the power of all of life within it, and trusted grace to bless my life with miracles.  Grace. Thank you.

Every year I cherish the last week in December, the quietness in my heart that ponders and reflects, remembers and appreciates, laughs and cries – and dreams of expansion of life and more love.

 This morning’s reflection caught me by surprise….I had forgotten about this day.  It was a very significant day for me.

 For many years my husband Don and I would occasionally frequent a crystal and gemstone store downtown.  This store was rather unusual, not exactly attractive or magnetic, in fact it was filthy, disorganized and cluttered.  Underneath the dust and clutter were beautiful crystals from all over the world.  I often dreamed of cleaning that place up and creating a show place, polishing those precious stones so their beauty could shine through.

 The elderly owners were grumpy, stingy and made it very clear they didn’t trust anyone. Don joked with them anyway and we would have short warm conversations until finally we gained their trust and would get a smile when we walked through their door.

 Their store was for sale – I think for at least a couple years.  One day, to our amazement – they told us the store had sold and they had to be out in a month.  A week before they closed we stopped by.  They were still offering only 10% off.  It didn’t look like much inventory had moved from 3 weeks ago – they seemed undaunted.

 Two days left before their doors closed for good – it was Saturday.  I remember driving onto the onramp and thinking about them and their store.  I toyed for a moment of stopping by – and then dismissed the thought and went on with my day.  The store closed.

 Months later – I am at another gemstone store in town.  I asked the owner if he knew this older couple?  He knew them well — here’s what he told me.

 This couple maintained the 10% discount on their inventory until the very last day.  Hardly anything sold, and so they ordered several huge dumpster bins to be delivered that very day I thought of stopping by.

Mountains of beautiful gemstones, crystals, geodes, gold and silver were dumped into the garbage and hauled away.

 I was stunned, and my body felt weak all over! These people who hoarded every penny, every precious crystal, who were so afraid of losing money – just dumped it all in the garbage.  My heart was sick – an abundance of sacred beautiful earthen treasures that could have graced homes and lives…were now lost in a landfill of rubbish.

 I learned a lot that day – a lot about how useless hanging on and never letting go can take a lifetime of joy away in the sum of present moments and stop the flow of receiving blessings.

 These people were afraid of not getting enough – and ended up not getting anything.

 Fear kept them in prison.  What they believed about life and money contracted them into a very small life.  They lived like they were super poor, they looked and talked like they were in poverty, and yet they had been millionaires for years and years.

They spent their life behind bars of fear, closed mindedness and worry. They never enjoyed the freedom of their prosperity that went beyond gemstones and crystals, and money in the bank. They missed out on the greatest and most precious freedom of all – loving and living in their heart.

 What a day.  What a perfect day.  I promised I would live – I would love – I would laugh – I would open my heart and let go – I would receive- I would be generous – I would cherish life, gifts of the earth, each other, most of all, grace.

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