Walking in the park on that late fall afternoon, I grieved a lost relationship.  The air was warm in the sun, so the cool air being lifted off the surface of the ponds by the fountains was refreshing to my skin.

As a young girl of eleven I had a crush on a fifteen-year old boy who was in my social circle; but he took no notice of me.  That crush held me captive for the next 3-4 years, until he left for college and I rarely saw him.

That is not to say my heart forgot him, for it skipped and scampered whenever I saw him throughout the years, and my tongue became unable to speak intelligible words.  But as life moved on and it was clear we were not destined to be apart of each others lives, I learned to let go of any hopes and all dreams.

After many years and many changes, this young boy who had aged into a mature man, appeared in my life again. This time he took notice of me and professed his love and intentions; my dreams came alive again, and my hopes began to rebuild themselves.

Unrequited love is a powerful energy to hold for nearly half a century – when it is satisfied it must be one of the most beautiful things in the world.  But alas, it was not meant to be, just as it wasn’t so many years before.

As my Beloved said good-bye to me, for reasons of his own, I felt my heart break again, and I let go of my new-found hopes and saw my dreams die once more.

So it was, I walked the parkland path and followed the bridge where we had walked together, attempting to find some comfort there.  My head was down, I suppose in some despair.

But if it had not been I would have missed the gift waiting for me on the other side of the footbridge, laying in the middle of the sawdust path.  The beautiful heart-shaped rock fit perfectly in the palm of my hand.  This was not a rocky park. Soft, spongy grass led down to the ponds edges on either side, and the paths are marked with chunky sawdust.

Once again, I was blessed with a mysterious symbol of love; hope sprang up where I thought I couldn’t hope again.  This time it was different.  My hope was in something sustainable and not dependent on anyone else.

It is only as I write this reflection that I realize in spite of all I had so far learned in the experiences of my life, I had yet to learn, that the unrequited love I was holding – was for myself.

Learning to love myself and accept my own magnificence is filling a gap I mistakenly thought someone else could fill.
I treasure this particular Sign of Love for all it teaches me.

written by – Deonne Wright RN, Aromatherapist
(www.deonnesaromablends.com)